So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
