Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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