fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
