my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
