so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
