nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
