I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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