hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Did I show you my penis last night?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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