i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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