If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
