WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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