yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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