Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
