I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog