Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments

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  (540): I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments http://tfl.nu/peng
  Replies (7) Good night (5932) Bad night (749)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.

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  (202): Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now. http://tfl.nu/6prd
  Replies (7) Good night (956) Bad night (2496)
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  (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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  (818): The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling http://tfl.nu/93rl
  Replies (8) Good night (3908) Bad night (1024)
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  (914): View more from New York

  right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"

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  (914): right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit" http://tfl.nu/7x3l
  Replies (6) Good night (3194) Bad night (837)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with

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  (313): he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with http://tfl.nu/73j2
  Replies (6) Good night (3154) Bad night (928)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.

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  (402): underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not. http://tfl.nu/wyas
  Replies (5) Good night (1144) Bad night (603)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.

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  (210): Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move. http://tfl.nu/2sh4
  Replies (4) Good night (1175) Bad night (633)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night

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  (907): Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night http://tfl.nu/7a8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1271) Bad night (398)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.

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  (815): I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win. http://tfl.nu/e10p
  Replies (46) Good night (1757) Bad night (3011)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She really is something else.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.

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  (281): She really is something else. (713): Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away. http://tfl.nu/3f56
  Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (444)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit

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  (702): Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit http://tfl.nu/wvyu
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (905)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."

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  (515): My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches." http://tfl.nu/3hga
  Replies (7) Good night (1865) Bad night (326)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you

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  (409): There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you http://tfl.nu/exfd
  Replies (1) Good night (948) Bad night (462)
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  (818): View more from California

  I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.

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  (818): I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish. http://tfl.nu/82ma
  Replies (3) Good night (368) Bad night (687)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay

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  (617): Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay http://tfl.nu/4gtm
  Replies (3) Good night (360) Bad night (363)

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