The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
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My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
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So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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