Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

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  (734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2
  Replies (4) Good night (959) Bad night (652)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories

  (239): View more from Florida

  He could rock you to sleep

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  (321): I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories (239): He could rock you to sleep http://tfl.nu/6xlx
  Replies (28) Good night (4034) Bad night (1169)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose

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  (330): When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday? (440): What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose http://tfl.nu/ry2v
  Replies (24) Good night (1205) Bad night (2602)
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  (631): View more from New York

  hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies

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  (631): hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies http://tfl.nu/d8pj
  Replies (34) Good night (7218) Bad night (986)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.

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  (903): her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top. http://tfl.nu/4up5
  Replies (132) Good night (838) Bad night (8581)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.

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  (541): Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus. http://tfl.nu/wqiq
  Replies (10) Good night (3968) Bad night (1578)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..

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  (847): boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this.. http://tfl.nu/2izx
  Replies (8) Good night (2933) Bad night (767)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.

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  (270): He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture. http://tfl.nu/0w8n
  Replies (20) Good night (1936) Bad night (4349)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.

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  (406): drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/nkni
  Replies (4) Good night (1577) Bad night (1035)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now

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  (204): I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now http://tfl.nu/tcbl
  Replies (3) Good night (1425) Bad night (578)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night

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  (262): Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night http://tfl.nu/r3zi
  Replies (2) Good night (1354) Bad night (477)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

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  (605): I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD... http://tfl.nu/4wif
  Replies (0) Good night (815) Bad night (466)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.

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  (512): Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery. http://tfl.nu/4491
  Replies (4) Good night (1293) Bad night (749)
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  (716): View more from New York

  please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.

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  (716): please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this. http://tfl.nu/hb6a
  Replies (1) Good night (803) Bad night (374)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.

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  (203): I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that. http://tfl.nu/el8i
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (272)

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