he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
