cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
