Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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