I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
