No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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