I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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