If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
