thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
