What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
