Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize