I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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