Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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