I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
