No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
