Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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