She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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