You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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