i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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