Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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