his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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