GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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