he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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