Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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