I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
