the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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