Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
