I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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