Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
