we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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