So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
