8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
