how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
