i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
