As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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