what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize