he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
