heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
