i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
