hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
