she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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