i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
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He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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