You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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