she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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