porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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