Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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