oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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