Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
