in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
