I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
