The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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