idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
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he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
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On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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