yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
