You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
