You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
