So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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