I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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