god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
